I am pretty sure that I have road rage, guys.
It dawned on me last week as I was driving home and imagining swerving up onto the sidewalk or going through the stop sign and running over every smug bastard out jogging that maybe I have a problem. I mean, I can find someone to run over every time I drive my car anywhere. Even if I just drive somewhere in my neighborhood there are people that I want to run over.
Does anyone else feel this way or am I a complete psychopath?
Of course, I would never run anyone over. Well, I haven't yet.
On the "To Run-Over" List:
- People riding their bike in front of me when I'm trying to drive anyfuckingwhere.
- Pretty much anyone riding their bike
- Old people trying to cross the street that are really slow
- Smug bastards running or walking (yeah, look at you, exercising! Fuck you!)
- Little kids playing in the street (natural selection)
- People who take their sweet ass fucking time walking across the road when they see me coming
- People who walk across the street even when they don't have the 'Walk' sign because they know if I hit them I'm at fault no matter what
- People wearing yellow
- Construction workers who think because they're working in the road they fucking own it
- The cop that works the construction zone up the street from my house that fucking waves her arms nonstop and confuses me
- Bums on the side of the road
- Anyone collecting money for any cause in the middle of an intersection or roadway
And yes, that is the car I drive (well, it's a drawing of it). So if you see me coming please find a fucking sidewalk and get your ass to it.
