The 'Birth-Day'.

Things I shouldn't be doing:

• Procrastinating.


• Avoiding bathing, courtesy not having to leave the house the whole day.


• Giving excuses to my brain how it is okay not to bathe when it is so cold. And the brain nodding like a five year old without questioning the existence of water heaters.


• Controlling the urge to poop just because I am lazy as fuck to go to the washroom. 


• Breaking winds later in the room making everyone leave me in solace with my Flatulence. (a.k.a farts)


• Forgetting brushing my teeth even after that huge poster I glued to the mirror last month that said 'Brush your teeth, while you still have them'.

Secrets have been revealed and you have formed a pretty picture in your brain how I totally resembled a cross between Rakhi Sawant and a Vidya Balan without makeup. (Though makeup doesnt do her any good.)



This and having my birthday after 'n' days of doing 'Things I shouldn't be doing'.



Yes. Blasphemy, right?





But then when your birthday starts with a home made brownie cake studded with gems with Diwali candles used as birthday candles for a lack of better resources,

with you 'accidently' dropping one of the candles on your cousin and it 'as accidently as the previous one' burns the tee-shirt she 'borrowed' from you for infinity,  

with your phone hanging up every second because of the flood of notifications and with the day ending with the most beautiful love letter ever, you are left with nothing to complain.



Yes.



Home Made Cake      ✓



Flood of notification    ✓

A taxation exam          ✖

Hand made card from HIM and one from Mom.   ✓



The most heartwarming message from a friend      ✓



(describing our journey together from the very start)



A cake again.   ✓✓

Drugged chilly chicken.   ✖

Mom's yummiest recipe put into place for you.  ✓



Gifts   ✓



Chocolates.  ✓



Love letter.  ✓✓✓



(a one with feelings so great that no fancy words can replace.)

Stomach upset  ✖

Frequent trips to the loo.  ✖

END OF EXAMS  ✓✓✓

And veryfying and taking in view the above results we under section 91C of  'The ultimate Happiness Act' declare you Miss Gay for the day. (Not gay wala gay. Happy and gay wala gay.)



Now



I’m 20 [its been a whole day that I have been 20] and I feel 19 and I act 15.[ok. 10. No negotiations now.]



I’m young, life still has a lot to teach me [like how to make tea without burning any thing/person and making out of the kitchen alive.] and I’m in no hurry.



I love talking about things, but that doesn’t mean I always know what I’m talking about. . One day I think I figured life out and the next I’m clueless. All I know is that life is happening right now and I don’t want to miss it. But then again I may wake up tomorrow and not feel that way anymore. Yes this is me. The-finally-20-year-old Nia Charms who has decided to live life at her own pace*

*Terms and conditions apply.



And maybe three philosophical lines are enough for the day. [bache ki jaan loge kya?]



P.S: An extract from the card my Mom made me:

Be a jewel in all vicissitudes of life,

for jewel has the same value and lustre

whether it is embedded in clay or is mounted on a crown.

Needless to say, I had to look up 'vicissitudes' in a dictionary.

An extract from the message from the special friend:

Sticks and stones,

May break my bones.

May you sense of humour,

give me a tumour.

You are very weird.

I dont have a beard.

But you are an awesome person.

And I dont know what rhymes with person.

Heart wrenching, right? I was filled with tears.



An extract from the love letter I got:

 If by any chance i get unreasonable, illogical,egoistic ever..Read this letter..Get back to me..call me sweetly by any name you want to..I will be back to normal.

And now you can all switch to the 'Aww-mode'.

"FINALLY" I decide to leave.

There I was.

Buried in books which weighed more than me, not caring about what the hell was happening around in the world, 

not caring if Poonam Pandey would finally strip on her rumored visit to bigg boss house, 

not caring if Shakti 'aaooo' Kapoor still existed, 

not caring if I was losing followers just because I didn't tweet anymore, 

not caring to the texts that were being forwarded that said I was dead, 

not caring if Facebook banned me due to no usage.

Oh wait Facebook doesn't do that. It doesn't even delete your account when you ask it to. It always give you an option to reactivate. Hence, sentenced to life.



Umm where was I ?

Yes, not caring to stalk H.I.S profile everyday and 

not caring to watch the 125486th rerun of the SIMPSONS there I was.



With hair that looked like a Haridwar sanyasi's tresses and teeth that were waiting to sprout little green fungi all over there I was.

So lost in studying, striving to make a future for myself ,I didn't bath for 3 days.

Technically 2days 5 hours 24minutes.





And wait all that didn't happen

I was tweeting away to glory and I was downright lazy.



So today I did the sinful act. Or atleast that's what I considered it for the past 2 days. Bathing. When I was bathing, feeling all movie style, just then the light went out.

And how you know its a perfect prey for psychic pervert ghosts. I waited and waited. But no ghost came. Alas.



Plus, for the first time I noticed how nice my soap smells.





Ok, so this innocent little yours truly was tweeting on the innocent trend of #nicknamesforbreasts when 10 minutes later my followers increased by 10. Perplexed and happy I wrote a 'I am happy blah blah' tweet. That's when one of the new followers replied "I didn't follow you for that, @missmiss asked me to follow you, so is it true that you tweet and blog even 20 days before the exams?'



Yes, however happy I might have been at the prospect of gaining followers and my dream of being twitter famous nothing could beat the embarrassment.



While my other fellow we-are-shmucks-who-study-24hours-a-day beings are actually studying there asses off, I am ..... Well you know.



So people I am off. Atleast till 9th Nov.



By the way did you know 9th Nov is my birthday andandand my last exam. So better wish me if you don't want me to hunt you down and



KILL YOU.

---

In case someone wants to know I did go to the party. It wasn't a blast, there wasn't any dance, but H.I.S smile, Oh my god H.I.S smile and how happy he seemed about me finally making it to the party made the whole deal really worthwhile. Plus, I didn't get caught. So nothing to lose.



P.S: After reading this post no one will marry me. :[ I know.