Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A day spent with daily soaps.

If you haven't watched a daily soap ever, not even a single episode you are not an Indian or atleast you shouldnt call yourself one. This epidemic started when an egoistic dad who didnt want her daughter to waste money on movies that last on the theatres for a period as long as Kim Kardishian's marriage, thanks to her inclination on casting her 8 pack ab studded brother Tushar Kapoor with acting skills too superior for us feeble humans to understand.

Yes. Ekta Kapoor is to be blamed when us teenagers cant watch non-saas-bahu serials without pissing off our mothers because she misses one of her serials because of you. Ekta Kapoor is to be blamed if your mother forces your dad to switch to Tata Sky just because she has two of her serials on the same time slot and she wishes to record one of them. It was Ekta Kapoor to be blamed when shortly after Kyunki Saas Bi kabhi bahu thi went viral matrimonial ads said : She should be like Tulsi in Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi. (which offcourse was in addition to the traditional yet modern, tall yet shorter than the groom, homely yet outgoing, virgin yet whore litany)

If these daily soaps are to be believed women are the only 'meaningful' creation on earth while the men only follow, appearing and disappearing at women's wish, go to office and get killed by vamps. This world is comprised of 50% women who just scheme and machinate evil plans to get the other 50% women (so called good ones) in trouble. These good women are pure saints, always sacrifising for the other members of the family, gets married atleast 5-6 times and remembers never to lose her virginity in the process. The child she is caring for is either adopted or her dead sister's, who very conviniently wished for her to take care of in her last breathe.

But watching a daily soap isnt an easy task, mind you. If you start watching one you have to take the responsibility to pass it on to your next generations because they wont be ending anytime soon.

Love between the girl and the boy is never a prerequisite for their marriage. Either it is to save the girl's dead boyfriend's mom from drifting into never-recoverable depression by marrying the dead boy's brother or it is to save an adopted child from the emptiness of not having a mother. It might even be because the girl loves someone else but that might lead to the parivar's izzat mitti me milna and ghar walo ka muh kaala hona and their naak katna but never because of love.

But its not only saas bahu serials. The silver screen has a wide variety of comedy, drama, suspense though eventually after a month of trying to do something different and not bagging enough TRP's they end up as another saas bahu saga.

Poker faces, Pursed-Lip Discontentment, Simpering Complicity and an evil vixen smile. If you can act these you are qualified to act in any soap.

Though on another note this world will be a better place if our lives became more like these daily soaps. People will be too busy in simpering each other in slow motion to worry about the bigger issues.